Battles against terminal illness, anxiety, and life!

Jingle Bells

“I think I can!  I think I can!” he chanted as he dug in his heels pushing the laundry basket to the designated owner’s room.  In triumph he yelled, “I thought I could!  I thought I could!” running back to help some more.  This morning was a whirlwind of laundry, dishes, and  normal household cleanup.  The kids laughed, cried, ran around, and then repeated the cycle of events. 

As I fixed my self a very gourmet peanut butter and jelly sandwich for an early lunch, Braden asked if he could have one too.  He has handled them well in the past as long as the harder to chew crust is removed.  So, I continued about my business of making my sandwich as Braden devoured his.  Happy that he was eating, I couldn’t help but smile.  Then, as if in slow motion, I found myself running to help him as he choked on his food.  It was a small bite, but it had firmly lodged itself.  Having taken cpr classes, I knew that as long as he was able to gasp he was getting air.  That wasn’t happening.  There was no air coming in.  Perhaps it was all the practice from when he was a baby and quit breathing multiple times a day, but instinct took over. 

As soon as he was breathing again, I urged him to take a drink.  This was all in vain, because he was angry and upset.  That’s when the doorbell rang signaling my parents arrival.  Many many hugs and kisses later, the sting from the episode was still visible.  Unfortunately, it carried over into his holiday show at school.  Instead of being the happiest kid around singing Jingle Bells with wild abandon, he look defeated.  Part of this is due to the episode, but it is also in part his personality.  Large groups where he is the focus of attention, make him act out.  So, instead of singing, he sat on my lap with his hands over his eyes.  I could almost feel him willing all the invaders of his classroom to retreat. 

Minutes after we made it home, he snuggled into his bed and went to sleep.  Not before I wrangled a promise for a private showing of Braden’s singing talents.  Perhaps that will make for more pleasurable viewing!  I will post pictures later, when I have more than two seconds.


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