Battles against terminal illness, anxiety, and life!

Everybody Says It

Once your kids can talk, you were going to wish they never started! It seems like every time you turn around you here one parent or another say this. In some respects, they are right. In fact, I might have said those words if I had never had Braden. If my life hadn’t turned out this way. Although, I can honestly say that I would give anything to have a typical nearly four year old with his mother type conversation.

A typical conversation with Braden involves direct eye contact, lip-reading, hand gestures, and a thumbs up or down system to verify if I am understanding him correctly. It took fifteen minutes the other day to understand a simple sentence. ONE SENTENCE. We both were frustrated, but we stuck it out. What Braden has to say is important to me. I want him to know that. I will not blow him off because it requiress too much effort on my part. That one sentence was, “Mommy, I want to ride a train with the man that was in the wheelchair on the big boat.” Thank goodness for context clues. Note to self, call that nice man and his awesome wife this week! That man has MS, and Braden fell in love with him. He talks about him a lot. Amazing people!

So, when your child drones on about something you find completely boring, please know that I will trade with you. Not children of course, because I love my children beyond measure. However, I would trade circumstances. You may feel free to be annoyed, that’s normal. Just every once in a while focus on your child, spouse, loved one. Appreciate the ease of communication. It’s such an awesome gift!

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Comments on: "Everybody Says It" (3)

  1. You have touched on a subject that is so close to my heart. There were countless times that I wanted to lock myself in a closet when the boys were rambling on and on, (about Thomas the Tank Engine, why some grapes are green and some are purple..etc etc etc ) with intermittent breaks of laughter or nonsense, but I ALWAYS stopped what I was doing and gave them my undivided attention. Not because I am some super mom, but because I knew that what they were telling me was important to THEM.
    Looking back, I now see what that simple act of listening has created. They talk to me…still, and about everything. Little did I know the impact of just listening.
    I know Braden’s situation makes the words harder to understand, but you KNOW that you are giving him the wonderful gift of showing him that he matters more than any other task you happen to be doing. Love comes in all forms.

  2. I can so relate to this. What I wouldn’t give to have a conversation with my nearly 6 year old son. He tries so hard, and I am the one who understands him more than anybody else, but sometimes even I can’t. He comes to me sometimes and says what sounds like a sentence consisting of 3 or 4 words and looks directly at me like I can answer him when I have no clue what he is saying. He can be very patient with me and lead me to what he wants. Then, again, he can lose it and start the screams of frustration because nobody understands him. But, we keep trying and I will never stop listening. We celebrate the times when he can very clearly say something like “I want cookie”. You better believe he gets it right away, even if it is the middle of the night!! Hmmm — I guess we’ll have to work on his timing of cookie requests at some point. I know it’s hard to not understand Braden, but you know that he knows you love him and will always listen to him no matter what. You are a great mom — what lucky children you have!!!

  3. I know. People say things like that to me all the time, and I can tell you honestly that even though E does not have any of these problems at this time that I haven’t really felt that way. They said I’d want him to crawl until he did, and I really don’t feel that way. I am delighted that he’s crawling. Now they say I’ll want him to walk until he does (he’s a little behind with it) and I honestly don’t think I’ll be frustrated by the walking either. He really doesn’t frustrate me much with anything. I just enjoy the hell out of him. Maybe it’s the IF and loss?

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