January 2nd, 2013
It’s late and you are really tired. Your day has been so full, that I can’t really comprehend how you are even still awake. I know your mind is running like a marathoner training for race day but your body is waving the white flag. Perhaps heart, head, and body will all come to a compromise and give you some much deserved rest soon. Today will not be a day you remember. There was nothing remarkable about it. Yet, I feel the urge to remind you of it.
Today your son struggled socially for understanding and acceptance. He wobbled into a friend’s child, and the little guy mistook it for aggression. Your own heart tore into a thousand pieces trying to help him navigate social landmines. You truly tried to approach the situation from every angle you knew how. The truth of the matter is that your child will always be socially awkward. He is the child people don’t know how to interact with. Do they stare? Should they say hi? Should they pretend they don’t notice his differences or should they ask about them? You are not an expert. Please be gentle with yourself. You don’t have all the answers. However, I saw you give your child everything you have today. I want you to remember this. Never look back and wonder if you could have done better. You did the best you could. You tried so hard that your own heart ached with the deep pain of a mother who wanted only to wave her magic wand to make it all better. You can’t make it better. You can’t make every child accept yours. You can’t make every person want to understand. You cannot make it right. All you can do is be there to hold your son’s hand, remind him that he is amazing, and to encourage him to be the best version of himself he can. Know that you would give anything to make him feel safe, accepted, and happy.
I watch you day in and out seek out new and exciting opportunities to find friends and fun. You are creating a beautiful life for him. He struggles to find friendships outside of school, but you are doing all you can do. You can’t manufacture friends. Just remember to take a few breaths and that you are doing all you can.