Battles against terminal illness, anxiety, and life!

Dear Self

Dear Self,

A good friend once told you that even the bravest of warriors must lay their armor down to tend to their wounds. You have taken this message to heart, and it has carried you through some rough patches. You have waded through the mourning period of what you thought life would be like for you, your family, and your children. You grieve each new loss, but are always quick to find a work around. You reach out to friends, family, and your husband for support. You have found your way to cope, but these past few weeks what you failed to anticipate was how to help your son to cope and grieve his own losses.

Keep your chin up brave woman. You put your oxygen mask on first and that’s as it should be. He was blissfully unaware as you drudged through the heavy mourning. You did what you must do, tend to your wounds, so you could continue battling in his honor. Yet now here you sit wondering just what to do. How to right the hideous wrongs that have embedded themselves so thuroughly into your lives. I’m going to let you in on something that you already know deep down. You can’t. You cannot make this right. Nothing ever will make this right. So, you are going to do what you are already doing, and focus on what you can do to help instead of what you cannot control.

Controling what is happening isn’t possible as there is no cure just yet. We shall just have to keep our eye on the prize of living a happy and well adjusted life. You have set your appointments and made your phone calls to those who can help, but this time not for yourself rather for your son. You will take him on as your apprentice and teach him the craft of tending to his wounds. You will guide him gently, and sometimes not so gently, down this bumpy road. You will help him find that happiness to hold on to. This will be painstaking. This will hurt. However, now is the time to pick your armor back up and do what parents do. Just remember, every once in a while to lay that armor back down to tend to yourself, ok?

These past few weeks have been brutal. We are just going to focus on that beam of light in the distance. You will take his small hand and help him point in the right direction. That light is happiness, love, and beauty. We shall always seek it out together. So, listen up Self, you aren’t going to do this perfectly. You are going to stumble over those rocks, and boulders will sometimes cause you to detour. Just remember you are resourceful. You are capable and strong. Don’t make yourself ever feel less than for not knowing exactly how to get there. You are directionally challenged as it is, and there is no GPS for this kind of thing!

Thought you could use this reminder.

Much love,

Me

mommyandbug

Advertisements

Comments on: "Dear Self" (3)

  1. I am glad you are remembering to take care of yourself. I think that’s the thing we put aside way too often. You’re a smart woman!

  2. You’re so wise and strong, Beckers. Let me know if there is anything at all I can do to help your family.

  3. Your strength is such an inspiration Becky. There is no possible way I can grasp what you and your family endure daily but please know that you are AMAZING. I fell in love with your family the second I met you and you bring such light into the world. Braden is so blessed to have such a wonderful support system but please heed your own advice and take care of yourself:)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: