February 13, 2014
Today you found yourself in the precarious position of having too little to do. For most the lack of lists filled with “to do” and reminders of all there is to accomplish in insufficient time would be cause for celebration. Yet for you it becomes a good time to cry. No longer able to use those lists to keep you too busy to contemplate the crazy that is life. This momentary pause feels like karma’s revenge for the many indiscretions of my youth. I am held hostage by my own emotions today. Their assault completely unwelcome yet most necessary to keep my internal system of checks and balances in working order.
There is nothing and everything all at once to feel. The waves of emotion causing my ship to feel lost at sea during hurricane season. My only hope is to find refuge and comfort in the fact that I can do this, am strong, capable, and enough. It is a mantra that must be repeated often to ensure survival. After all courage and bravery can be found in the hundreds of every day decisions made on the front lines of our home. I must be capable of steering our ship to safer waters.
Please some day remember that you did your best every single day. You proved that while you are most definitely strong. You recognize that you are also strong enough to fall apart, knowing that a individual that is able to embrace their weaknesses is stronger than one whom blindly denies their existence.